A Life Scripted to Music

I find extraordinary joy in music.  It is a wonderful gift we were blessed with and it never ceases to amaze me how music can change your mood, bring people together, or serve as a method in which memories are preserved.  I would imagine most, if not all people with access to some form of music outside of what they create themselves,  have been in a situation in which they have heard a song and are instantly reminded of a significant (or not-so-significant) moment in time.  Kenny Chesney sings about this in his song “I Go Back”.  Found within this song are the lyrics “We all have a song that somehow stamped our lives, Takes us to another place and time”.  Songs do stamp our lives.   I was thinking about this the other day and a large number of songs began to flood my mind that I consider significant to certain memories throughout my life.

Those who know me well know that I am terrible with long-term memory- without pictures or music, most of my memories from my middle school years would be a muddled mess, as would some from high school.  And you can forget about elementary school.  At least most of college is still intact because I am not that far away from those years…yet!

So, for my entertainment at least (and to serve as another way to hold on to some memories), here is my list of some of the music that has served as a script for my life.

1. Jesus Loves Me, Away in a Manger, and Zaccheus.  All Bible songs I learned at an early age and sang with my mom as an itty-bitty.  Also included in this time frame would be the Sesame Street theme song and Won’t You Be My Neighbor from Mr. Rogers.  No extraordinarily specific memories related here, more a general remembrance of that time.

2. Debbie Gibson- Shake Your Love.  I had a pocket rocker back in the late ’80s (when they were created) and thought it was the coolest.  That and my Debbie Gibson tape that accompanied it.  I was approximately 8 years old then and was rocking the side ponytail and slap bracelets.

3. Baby Baby by Amy Grant. Middle school.  I remember distinctly two of my best friends at the time making fun of me because of my love of Amy Grant, and especially this song.

4. Right Here Waiting for You by Richard Marx.  Played this in band in middle school.  My dramatic middle school self almost started crying while we played it during a concert due to my unrequited crush on a fellow band member.  That makes me laugh now.

5. En Vogue. Free Your Mind.  I remember two of my guy friends getting into an argument in eighth grade because one felt the other was too judgmental.  This song was brought into the argument and was quoted.

6. Devil Went Down to Georgia.  High school.  Riding with a friend of mine in his pick-up truck with windows down as he blasted this song.

7. Carolina in my Mind.  I went to UNC, and every time I hear this song I have multiple memories of my time there.

8. Ice Ice Baby.  Also in relation to UNC.  Exam time.  And an awesome RA I’m proud to call one of the best friends I’ve ever had.

9. You Are Beautiful (My Sweet Sweet Song)- Third Day- concert with two good friends when in graduate school at the University of South Carolina.  One of my friend was not a Christian but seemed really into this song- whenever I hear it, I think of her and hope she has come to know Jesus as her Savior.

10.  More- Matthew West.  This is the song that was playing on the radio when Will pulled up the driveway to pick me up for our first date.

11. How Do I Love Her- Steven Curtis Chapman.  The song sang during our wedding ceremony.

12.  I Could Not Ask For M0re- Edwin McCain.  The song Will and I danced to at our wedding reception.

13. My Little Girl (Tim McGraw), All-American Girl (Carrie Underwood), and There Goes My Life (Kenny Chesney).  All songs that made me cry when pregnant with Eila.

14.  Heaven is the Face by Steven Curtis Chapman.  I heard this song on the radio while going to a doctor’s appt to check on my yet unborn little guy, Asher.  I remember beginning to cry as I thought of the pain Steven Curtis Chapman and his family must feel after the loss of one of their daughters, and I also cried due to the baby I carried in my womb and the remarkable, precious gift that life is.

15. Baby Baby- Amy Grant.  Yes, it is on here again, because it was the song playing on the radio (the station was playing some older songs) as I made spaghetti while in labor with Asher.  It was ironic and appropriate and even more memorable since I loved the song as a child and Eila loves it as well!

It’s amazing to look back and see how music permeates so many moments in our lives.  There are so many more that came to mind while writing this but this post would be entirely too long (I think it already is!) and some things, I just like to keep for myself.

And to sum it up…

I started hearing about the “one word” movement (myoneword.org) around the start of the year.  Fitting, since it is meant to serve as a substitute for a New Year’s resolution.  I have never been one for New Year’s Resolutions and, truth be told, I tend to avoid movements such as this one.  Yet there is something appealing in choosing a single word to describe my hope for 2010.

When I was up in the middle of the night nursing Asher a week or so ago, I was using the time to talk with God.  Our talk turned into me pouring out fears and frustrations I had and was experiencing.  God brought to mind the fact that He is the vine and I am a branch– the actual verse is John 15:5, which says:

“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”

I knew He was speaking to me through this verse, and particulalry through the word “abide”.  Of course, “abide” can have a few different connotations and according to my friend Merriam-Webster (ha, does anyone else see the irony that I had to double-check my spelling of Merriam?) abide means 1) to wait for, 2) to endure without yielding/to bear patiently, and 3) to accept without objection.  I knew what abide meant overall, but looking at these specific definitions helped me to understand it even more thoroughly, particularly in light of John 15:5 and the troubles I had been sharing with the Lord.  We are often commanded to “wait” (Psalm 27:14) on the Lord; according to definition 1, “wait” is synonymous with “abide” (note: I am not taking into account Hebrew or Greek translations here, so forgive me if I am off on this).  Definition 2 indicates that to abide is to endure without giving up, to bear patiently (I add italics here as a personal reminder).  However, I was most intrigued by definition 3– to accept without objection.  This is a hard one for me.  But certainly appropriate given that my Father knows what is best and His will, not mine, be done.  I find it reassuring that Matthew 7:11 reminds us that He loves to give us good gifts, as it reminds me that He does delight in giving us gifts if they are in our best interest and in accordance with His will.

Anyway, looking at the word “abide” in a more multi-dimensional way is fitting since the God I serve is certainly more multi-dimensional than anyone imaginable.  And since He commands us to abide in Him, it’s important to understand the meaning of such a commandment.  Going back to the night where I was nursing Asher and feeling pretty discouraged, I found such comfort in abiding in Him.  I suppose that is because I picture waiting patiently and not giving up while being held firmly in the arms of my Abba Father.  There is such safety and warmth in that image.  I find myself regularly repeating the word “abide” when I find myself feeling lonely, sad, scared, or even angry.  And I feel comforted.

All that to say, my one word for this year is “abide”.  It draws my focus on resting in the Lord in all things.  Let me be clear in case I sound too “preachy”, I am NOT so good at abiding.  It will take some definite work.  But to be able to do that is my goal and my prayer.  And my privilege.

For the sake of being equitable…

One benefit of my husband’s love of technology is that I get to play with many of the “toys” he ends up with.  My new favorite is his Flip video recorder.  This means that it is likely I will begin uploading videos like a mad woman, as evidenced by the video of Eila and now this one. .  Below is Asher smiling for the first time on video camera (and some slight cooing).  Please disregard my dialogue (hardly noticeable given his cuteness), but annoying nonetheless.  I will blame it on the fact that speaking in a different voice, usually that of the higher-pitched variety, is a must listed in the motherhood rule book.

Actually though, it has been proven that the majority of mothers talk differently to their babies because the sing-song nature of “babytalk” influences bonding and captures the infant’s attention far better.  So there.

And I had to post this- I can’t just have Eila’s video on here without one of Asher too, can I?

Eila on Politics

One more track…

Number 11.  Pants on the Ground.  Enough said.

Sleep Deprivation iPod

Now that I have had two children, I have realized something about sleep deprivation.  1) It stinks. 2) It results in an automatic iPod that plays in my head at all hours of the night when I am awake with the baby.  This iPod cannot be controlled, it cannot be programmed, and it is driving me crazy.

I LOVE music, so you’d think some of the many excellent songs I listen to throughout a day would be added to the playlist.  But no, instead, I get many of the annoying songs that I may hear, or, in most cases, that are a result of having a toddler that likes Elmo.  Blech.

So here is a playlist of past and current songs that get stuck on repeat in my head at night:

1. The Elmo Song.  Oh, how I cannot STAND Elmo.  I want to banish him from my house, but considering Eila has some affection for the furry red creature, this is a slow process.  Thankfully, this song hasn’t been stuck in my head for the past couple of weeks, but now that I have written about it, I am somewhat fearful it is going to return.  Elmo is a true member of the axis of evil.

2. Donuts for Benny.  Normally, I love Veggietales, and one of their newer videos, St. Nicholas: A Story of Joyful Giving, is one of my favorites.  However, the silly song included in this movie, Donuts for Benny, about a dog who is given donuts and begins singing and dancing, is not one of my favorites.  I have heard it way too many times in my head at 1am, and even worse, it is the song the dog sings within the song that gets stuck in play, not the actual song itself.

3. There are some songs I like that I hear over and over during the night, like Steven Curtis Chapman’s song “Heaven is the Face” (you can hear it here www.stevencurtischapman.com.  It’s a gorgeous song written about the recent death of one of his little girls and tragedy in general  I highly recommend it.

4. Forever by Chris Brown.  Okay, I’m not a fan of Chris Brown the person, and I haven’t heard any of his other songs that I am aware of, but 1) this song is very catchy and YES I like it, but 2) Eila LOVES watching the wedding entrance video on YouTube that was parodied on The Office.  Jill and Kevin, I still love your originality as well as your dance moves and those of your wedding party, but oh how I wish I could get Forever out of my head.  (By the way, a parody video on a divorce court entrance for this couple on YouTube is hysterical and meant in fun (I hope).

5. Another Veggietales silly song…Bellybutton.  I actually like this one as opposed to Donuts for Benny, but you can only hear “I need to tell you somethin’…I don’t got a bellybutton” so many times while stumbling through a 4am diaper change and feeding before being driven a little loopy.

6. Okay, one more Veggietales song (ummm…this is getting embarrassing)- “I Can Love”- also from the Saint Nicholas: A Story of Joyful Living movie.  Good song, very sweet lyrics, but too catchy and therefore stuck on the sleep deprivation iPod.

7. David Crowder Band- How He Loves Us.  At least this one I like and it reminds me of God’s love for me, even when I am frustrated and grumbling because Asher has ignored his ability to go five hours between feedings so that he can eat more frequently, say, every three.  Darn growth spurts.

8. Home by Daughtry.  Love the lyrics, love his voice.  Don’t mind this one so much. That’s all I can say or my husband may not like it…

9. Let the Waters Rise by MikesChair.  Also one I don’t mind.

10. And for the sake of ending with the predictable and neat listing of 10, let’s throw in a little Baby Got Back.  It’s been awhile, but this has been known to slip into rotation from time to time.  Don’t ask.

Yeah, that’s probably enough for now.

What songs get stuck in your head?

Mary vs. Martha (the predecessor to the American 2010 woman)

As I prepare to wrap up my (publicly) shared thoughts on being a Proverbs 31 woman in light of all the recent changes in my life, I am led to the story of Mary and Martha.  In Luke 10:38-42, we find the story of Jesus going to the home of Mary and Martha…

³⁸Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. ³⁹And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. ⁴⁰But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” ⁴¹But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, ⁴²but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

*Just a note- for a great take on this passage and related issues, read http://cjlilly1977.wordpress.com/2010/01/09/trying-to-be-a-mary-in-a-martha-world/   It is scary how my mother and I think alike, as we have both been contemplating these issues yet had not discussed our thoughts with each other until she wrote this.

Anyway, I long to be a Mary.  Well, more honestly, part of me longs to be a Mary and part of me is satisfied as Martha, at least until I get to that last verse…You see, I am good at being anxious and troubled, and I am even good at staying busy keeping things nice around the house (although never nice enough in my opinion–and in comparison to others).  Uh-oh, comparisons, now THOSE can be dangerous and man, am I good at comparisons (clearly nothing to brag about as they can be quite sinful).  Anyway, I like staying busy, it makes me feel good about myself when my house is clean and everything is as I feel it should be.  And perhaps that is okay…to a point.  Where I think (okay, KNOW) it becomes a problem is when it supercedes spending time with Jesus.  I may be good at keeping things picked up (as good as one can be when they have a toddler, newborn, and crazy dog) but you know what?  I am not so good at prioritizing my time with the Lord.

I often forget to do my quiet time with God, or to take time to not only talk to Him, but to REALLY listen.  I forget this even though one of my regular prayers (and regular admissions of sin) is that I would do a better job of consistently spending time with my Lord because I stink at it currently.

It is incredibly easy to fall into Martha mode.  Especially now that I am at home with my children.  I guess, for me, this is because I feel that I need to be doing something all the time since I’m not “working” (clearly, I realize the ridiculousness of this statement since the calling to be a mother and devoting your entire day to raising your children certainly qualifies as “doing something”…).  But I think for women in general, Martha mode is something we all struggle with.  Is this because so many of us define our worth based on what we do rather than Who we should do it for?

It is much harder to take time to be with Jesus than it is to stay busy.  Staying busy is what the American 2010 woman is supposed to be all about.  Work a full-time job, be a wife, a mother, host parties, engage in church activities, do charity events, serve as chef, chauffeur, etc, etc.  I have already decided that I do not want to be one of those families that has something scheduled every night of the week.  We aren’t teaching our kids how to  to be satisified just playing outside or using their imagination, because as adults, we don’t model the art of just “being” rather than doing.  When Jesus says to Martha that Mary has “taken the good portion, which will not be taken from her”, I want to learn to take that seriously and apply it to my life.  If Mary, not Martha, has the good portion because she is taking time from busy-ness to be with Jesus, then that is quite the lesson for me.  This does not promote idleness, as Mary wasn’t in front of the television all day while there were things to be done.  Rather, it promotes servanthood in a higher form than Martha’s (as she was serving her guests as well).  Servanthood in denying a woman’s natural tendency to be busy in order to do what we are called to do.  Servanthood in submitting to a higher calling than wife and mother.  A calling to “love the Lord God with all our heart, souls, and might” (Deuteronomy 6:4-6)…servanthood to the King.

That is the kind of woman God calls us to be, as evidenced in the contrast of Mary and Martha.  Combining this with what is learned from the Proverbs 31 woman and in Titus 2, I feel both freedom and a challenge.  Freedom to explore how to become this woman, and the challenge to do so.  Big challenge, Big God.  This is going to take some work, but I’m not in it alone.  What a comfort that God promises to complete the good work He began in us (Philippians 1:6)-  He has a long way to go with me!

Proverbs 31 versus American 2010 Part 2 (aka “What’s Titus Got To Do With It?”)

After my last post on the Proverbs 31 woman, I have continued to search Scripture for more verses relating to a woman’s role, stay-at-home mom, working out-of-the-home mom, whatever the case may be (of course, the verses also apply fully to all women, single, married, without children, etc.).  My focus though, of course, is trying to figure out who God would have me be in light of all the recent changes in my life, so forgive me when I primarily write about my thoughts from a stay-at-home mom perspective.

That said, I took my thoughts from studying the Proverbs 31 woman and also began exploring Titus 2, focusing on verses 3-5.

³Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

As I try to figure out how to balance being a wife and mother with (simply?) being a woman, I find some helpful information, ironically, in a letter written by one man (Paul) to another (Titus).  Granted, Titus was entrusted with reading this to his fellow believers, but still… Anyway, these 3 verses focus on not only how older women should conduct themselves, but also on what they are to teach younger women.  Included in this training is loving their husbands and children, being self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and the S-word…submission.  Now that last word is often considered on par with the other S-word by our society as a whole, including many Christians.  Not many of us like to submit to anyone; we want to do things the way we want, when we want.  Myself included- just ask my husband.

Before I get too off-topic, I just want to point out that submission does not equal doormat, but it does acknowledge that ultimately, our husbands have the final say.  Look at it this way…submission is INCREDIBLY HARD, but in Ephesians, husbands are instructed to love their wives as Christ loves the church.  They have the much more difficult job, I think!

Back to Titus.  What stands out to me currently is the “working at home” part- I’m in the process of trying to discern what this means exactly.  I think it means that whether you stay-at-home or not, your priority should be having the house in order, and that yes, if you are a stay-at-home mom, you are still working, you’ve just relocated.

It also speaks to idleness, as did Proverbs 31.  The mere idea of working immediately cancels out idleness.  That doesn’t mean you can’t take breaks to relax, but it certainly blows the whole cliche of “sitting-at-home-in-pajamas-watching-soap-operas-and-eating-bon-bons” out of the water.  (*Note: I do not engage in either.  I do, however, like to catch up on shows via Hulu occasionally while nursing Asher (since I am limited with other activities at this time anyway) and I may partake of some popcorn or, my personal favorite, Blue Bunny Peanut Butter Panic ice cream every once in awhile, but this is not a regular occurrence.  Especially as I am trying to lose the baby weight.)

Also of note is the title the English Standard Version (or as my husband calls it, “the cool kids translation”) uses for this section of Titus–”Teach Sound Doctrine”.  I find it incredibly awesome that the virtues younger women are to be taught are considered sound doctrine.  Add to that the reason we are to be taught these virtues…”that the Word of God may not be reviled”, and I am struck by what a high calling it is to be a young woman.  We are to engage in being kind, pure, and working at home in order to present the Word of God in such a way that it is not abused (another word for reviled).  This, in turn, is a powerful witness to others.

This certainly gives me some comfort as I look to find meaning in the life I have chosen inside my front door.

Proverbs 31 versus American 2010

Over the past few weeks, I have been mulling around a variety of thoughts in my head regarding who I am now and who I am becoming.  And who I want to become in Christ.  There are days where I feel like I am kind of confused about the “who I am now” part; ever since I have become a mother and began easing out of working as child and family therapist, I have hit up against that proverbial brick wall of how to balance being a wife and mother and how to just be.  I hate to even write that, as it sounds so typical, and one thing I do know is that I don’t want to be typical.

Anyway, despite the predictability in this struggle, it is certainly a very real one and has led me to seriously consider what God has for me now that I am at home with Eila and Asher rather than in my old office.  This is what I have so far:  1) obviously, God has me being a wife to my husband and a mother to my children, 2) this looks different than it did when I was working, 3) IT IS HARD, 4) I need help, and 5) He has a lot to say about it in His Word.  So that is where I have turned.

And honestly, I am still confused (although it is getting clearer).  First you have the Proverbs 31 woman (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031&version=ESV).  Honestly, I feel like I could NEVER be this woman…at least, not fully.  She seems to be able to do everything- she “rises while it is still night” to prepare food for her household, her “lamp does not go out at night”, she “does not eat the bread of idleness”, and so forth.   It is here I remind myself that I cannot be perfect, I cannot be perfect, I cannot be perfect…but I can be perfected through Christ, and only Christ.  This allows me to continue reading about this woman who the fleshly part of me resents until that reminder.

How on earth am I to rise while it is still night when I am nursing a newborn around the clock, or keep my lamp on?  How do I balance my need to sit down and read a good book when there are dishes to be done (idleness?)  Am I given a pass because I have two children under the age of 2?  I woudn’t think so.  But perhaps I am looking at this the wrong way.  This commentary (Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary on the Bible) has helped…

This is the description of a virtuous woman of those days, but the general outlines equally suit every age and nation. She is very careful to recommend herself to her husband’s esteem and affection, to know his mind, and is willing that he rule over her. 1. She can be trusted, and he will leave such a wife to manage for him. He is happy in her. And she makes it her constant business to do him good. 2. She is one that takes pains in her duties, and takes pleasure in them. She is careful to fill up time, that none be lost. She rises early. She applies herself to the business proper for her, to women’s business. She does what she does, with all her power, and trifles not.

3. She makes what she does turn to good account by prudent management. Many undo themselves by buying, without considering whether they can afford it. She provides well for her house. She lays up for hereafter. 4. She looks well to the ways of her household, that she may oblige all to do their duty to God and one another, as well as to her.

5. She is intent upon giving as upon getting, and does it freely and cheerfully. 6. She is discreet and obliging; every word she says, shows she governs herself by the rules of wisdom. She not only takes prudent measures herself, but gives prudent advice to others. The law of love and kindness is written in the heart, and shows itself in the tongue. Her heart is full of another world, even when her hands are most busy about this world.

7. Above all, she fears the Lord. Beauty recommends none to God, nor is it any proof of wisdom and goodness, but it has deceived many a man who made his choice of a wife by it. But the fear of God reigning in the heart, is the beauty of the soul; it lasts for ever. 8. She has firmness to bear up under crosses and disappointments. She shall reflect with comfort when she comes to be old, that she was not idle or useless when young. She shall rejoice in a world to come. She is a great blessing to her relations.

If the fruit be good, the tree must have our good word. But she leaves it to her own works to praise her. Every one ought to desire this honour that cometh from God; and according to this standard we all ought to regulate our judgments. This description let all women daily study, who desire to be truly beloved and respected, useful and honourable. This passage is to be applied to individuals, but may it not also be applied to the church of God, which is described as a virtuous spouse? God by his grace has formed from among sinful men a church of true believers, to possess all the excellences here described.

Can I just say that I LOVE the statement “Her heart is full of another world, even when her hands are most busy about this world.”?  That plus, “Above all, she fears the Lord” gives me a sense of direction in the midst of all the things this woman is able to do.  Granted, both are lofty goals.  But for some reason, I am comforted, as both of these statements remind me that in order to be like this woman, I am to focus on God and His kingdom and do my best to fulfill my calling here on earth.

I intend to write more on this subject, but ironically, must go fulfill my calling in the way of preparing lunch for my family.  Please feel free to share your thoughts on this subject (men and women!) as I process mine.

30 Days and Counting…

Asher is a month old!  Good grief, how did that happen so fast?  Time is definitely going by faster this go-round than it did with the early Eila days.  To honor my little guy’s first month, I thought I would share some of my favorite moments from it in the style of a Top 10 list…so here we go!

#10- Dancing Boy.  This is what Eila inadvertently calls Asher when she tries to refer to him as “handsome boy” as her father and I do.  And I know I may be biased, but Asher truly is a handsome boy.

#9- From Velociraptor to Tiger Cub.  I don’t know if all baby boys are as vocal, but Mr. Asher can do some major animal impressions, asleep or awake.  He has one noise that could give the sound crew from Jurassic Park a run for their money, although the majority of the time he growls like a little tiger cub.  He has skills, my boy does.

#8- Mealtimes.  Asher is hysterical when getting ready to nurse- he moves his head back and forth from side to side quickly and his eyes seem to light up.  I love it.

#7- Christmas lights.  Ahh, a love affair with the tiny white lights that adorned our Christmas tree.  He loved to sit in his bouncy seat and stare at those lights.  I think he peed on me yesterday because I began taking them down.

#6- Tracking.  He is excellent at following people around the room with his eyes, and when having a clingy moment (or day), I still find it sweet that he is often satisfied with being able to follow me in a room and only protests when I disappear around a corner.  This can also be frustrating, but it warms my mommy heart (and I suppose, feeds my mommy ego).

#6-  Sleep faces.  Mr. Asher Benjamin entertains me regularly as he enters a light sleep cycle.  This is because of the many faces he makes, including one Elvis face and one that I call the “hey ladies” face.  I can’t describe it other than to say I can totally picture him doing the “hey ladies” face when he hits his teenage years…

#4- Cuddle monkey.  He loves, loves, loves to cuddle while being held.  He still does the sweet newborn pose in which he is curled up as he was in the womb (you know, knees drawn up and arms in).  Today was one of those days where he REALLY wanted to be held, and he continuously snuggled into my neck, and even clutched my hair.

#3- The innocent me pose.  Related to #4, he also likes to take his hands and clasp them under his face while asleep laying on us.  The picture of innocence.  I will think back to this picture of innocence in the years to come…and probably laugh.

#2- Pee ninja.  I have mentioned his vocal skills, but nothing prepared us for the pee ninja.  The boy can pee in any direction, at any time, naked or fully dressed, covered up or not.  Thankfully, this skill of his has decreased over the past couple of weeks (which my washer/dryer and I appreciate), but it is still present nonetheless.  I will never understand how I can finish changing him where we appear to have made it through with him completely dry, only to find a wet spot on his clothing…pee ninja.

#1- THE SMILES.  Oh how I love to see him smile.  I remember seeing this for the first time on Dec. 29.  And no, it was not in response to any bodily function.  It was genuinely in response to his mommy talking to him.  And since then, it has happened more frequently and with daddy too.  Today was the best- he gave me a huge smile once he caught my eye and I began talking to him.  His smile?  Incredible.

I will end with a picture.  To me, it says it all.

Happy One Month, Asher Benjamin.